Bubbleoney

Effervescently addictive luncheon meat which made the consumer quite simpleminded after prolonged consumption. Thought to originate during the Royal Family of Spasmodic Cutaneous Haptica’s meat-centric governance in early 1000 B.C.

Ancient alien theorists have concluded the method used in its creation could only have come from the stars, since the technology needed to make this meat product was far beyond the science of the time. Seemingly in an unrelated event, astronomer John Stith Pemberton, who in the Battle of Columbus in the year 1865 had became heavily addicted to morphine due to serious wounds, began experimenting with coca and meat by-products, searching for a cure for this addiction. Then mysteriously several months after John reported lights in the sky to authorities, Bubbleoney was once again on the market now under the name Pemberton’s Tickle Meat, which he claimed due to a unique meat delivery system was an invigorating brain tonic any man could sink his teeth into.

Due to the product’s side-effects he later sold the patent to Coke-a-Cola founder Asa Candler in 1887 and spent his remaining days in a state run sanitarium.

Note: the term bubblehead is thought to originate from this very product.