The Scope Wins

I sit reading posters and brochures in the doctor’s waiting room. The first one I pick up is about how your best defense against gout is information–unfortunately, the brochure holder is bone dry, so I guess gout wins out this time.

Next to this there is a poster about “getting a hand” with erectile disfunction. Awesome.

Then there’s the trifold brochure that tells of rectal exams with unimaginable four foot scopes. Our story begins with a Joe, a family man whose face already shows deep anxiety of anything anus-related. The brochure’s back page shows Joe’s next birthday party with everyone present but Joe himself. Either he’s dead (since anus maintenance was absent from his To Do list) or he just hates birthdays–in which case he accomplishes his dream of not being invited to his own party with nonstop and excruciatingly detailed talk about the rectal exam that saved his life.