This is what a cat sees one second before the end of life number nine is registered with the governmental agencies in the feline afterlife. Unfortunately for the welcoming committee a feline can only respond one way once exposed to said image, all clawed-up and ready to take on the next individual with a cloud of fur and victims’ blood. The Director of the welcoming committee Janet Binster, when questioned by Budget, concerned about her department’s high overtime and turn-over rate, why would such an image be a used, responded, “Originally the image was that of a sunny spot on a window sill and was switched due to a technology glitch with that of Professor Jaroslav Flegr, the author of ‘How Your Cat Is Making You Crazy,’ not the most cat friendly image admittedly.”
Technology responded with the following opinions to rectify this issue:
“1) It’s a hardware issue (this server cannot be taken offline due to the dog intrusion software running on the same server; following the agency’s loss of funding for chain link fencing maintenance, this software is the only thing keeping the dogs in check);
2) It’s a software glitch, (the original programmer retired a couple hundred years ago and cannot be reached due to nonexistent cell phone reception in limbo where she bought some property and now runs a bed and breakfast for exhausted visitors).”
Update: Technology has offered to purchase 28 pairs of long leather gloves and three boxes of antiseptic out of their budget to assist Director Binster as a temporary solution. Unfortunately for both parties, a low level bureaucat has denied this solution stating technology has no reason to purchase items for an outside group.